Runs In Transit

Month: May, 2017

Hello from Los Angeles

When I landed in L.A. one year ago, I saw a sprawling metropolis with lights as far as the eyes could see. It was exciting.

I settled into Pasadena. I became confined to a small radius the majority of the year. Some days I had no choice, some days I chose to stay home.

Being physically bound is not so bad if you like where you are. Being mentally confined is detrimental. The freedom to pursue your goals is offered to all Americans. What a shame when one cannot actualize those dreams.

Life is about acting upon ones will, and a rational mindset only makes that route more secure. Making smart decisions and planning for the future is not the end result. The dream I was sold didn’t prepare me adequately for the realities I encountered, but that’s okay.

I have every ingredient in the recipe book and I just need to stir them up. I’m about to go bowling with my colleagues. There’s no reason to do anything but have fun.

-Los Angeles, 2017

Hello from Ithaca

I hate myself. I see the worst in others. I see nothing good in myself.

Today I went up a bell tower. I listened to the chimes. It moved me and I wanted to cry. Life is so beautiful yet it’s passing by.

Each day I gain nothing. They’re empty and I float through. I keep waiting for that moment, but it never comes.

I used to be scared of the future. Now I just want to feel something today. Is it the chemistry of my brain? Or is it something else.

I feel like a failure. I want to escape. But I’m stuck. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

-Ithaca, 2014