Runs, there isn’t much time so I must be brief. This is not a dream. I am indeed a squirrel, but do not focus on the physical manifestation of my being. I am an intelligent being and this body is solely the mode I am using to communicate with you. Do not be frightened. I am here to help you. Each second is urgent so please listen closely.
My name is Vercingetorix. I am from a distant planet. I along with my race were banished to this planet and trapped into these bodies five million years ago after a long and brutal war. For the past five million years we have been trying to return. It has been difficult. This planet is not amenable to creatures with limited physical capabilities regardless of intelligence. We have endured countless events that have brought us close to extinction, but now we are finally on the verge of progress. Contrary to what you may believe, we are the most intelligent beings on this planet. You may think that title belongs to your species and dolphins and mice are close behind but that is not the case. While our species have lived parallel to each other, one has merely dominated the world on the outside while the other has been plotting in secret hidden in trees and disguising plans in utter discreteness.
I am here for a very specific reason. Two years ago you were driving and saw me running across the street. In my moment of haste I was careless and put myself in harms way. You distinctly saw me and made the decision to swerve and hit a snow bank as a result. I survived that day because you, and I have not forgotten it to this day. The average human would not have done so. We are mere squirrels and our size does not warrant any regard in your world, but you offered generosity, and you saved my life.
You may be thinking why this is important. You see, I am not just a squirrel. I am the chieftain of a large Union in this hemisphere you know as North America. I lead billions of squirrels on this continent and my duties carry great responsibility. Unlike other unions, we have made huge strides in recent decades and are nearing our biggest breakthrough. Unfortunately, this breakthrough will result in the slavery of your species. Do not be fearful, because I am here to save you.
You are about to enter the workforce and will gain a position in a corporation, where you will likely remain until old age. Do not do so. For the past century we have infiltrated your society under the guise of “capitalism”. We have slowly integrated your people into large corporations where they work for the majority of their lives. This has succeeded because the system has given you freedom. You have seen improvements in standard of living and material goods, but this is just an illusion. This freedom is also a chain. Once you enter the system it is impossible to leave. You desire more and more and it never stops. Most humans spend their entire lives working for money and some lay ruin to their lives because of it. Does this not resemble the institution of slavery? I know this is cruel because it is, but we have had no choice as your species control the physical world. Now it is our turn to colonize you. Each CEO, president, and world leader is under the control of our Union. We are currently siphoning the entire world’s wealth until we have accumulated enough to create the technology to return to our planet. Your space technology is millions of years from being able to travel the distance we need and we have no time to waste. We are almost near completion and our resources are close to being full. You might have seen us transferring acorns, thinking we are merely storing food, but inside are microchips full of your financial data.
We will not kill your race. But when we leave, your society will be in ruin and the greed of your people will keep the institutions we created alive. Capitalism and consumerism will rise to greater heights and millions will suffer as a result. If you proceed with your life as you planned, you will also suffer. You may think you have obtained success, but it is all an illusion. Why do you think squirrels have had no illustrious comforts even though we own the majority of wealth? The true key to life is elsewhere, and for that you must search deeper. I am telling you this because I owe you my life. I want you to survive the impending downward spiral of humanity and live a happy if not short life. I cannot save you from death or ensure you will be successful, but I can offer you the truth. Please hold my words dearly. You have the ability to avoid chaining yourself. What you do with that knowledge is in your hands. I must go now. Take care my friend.
*To Andy and Eri, thanks for participating in this challenge with me. I hope you got as much out of it as I did. It was enjoyable, fruitful, and thrilling to exercise creative thinking and view things in a different light. Andy, your challenge is up next. I eagerly await your proposal.